10 Qualities Far More Important Than Physical Beauty

Beauty without intelligence is a masterpiece painted on a napkin” — Barbara Palvin

James Michael Sama
7 min readFeb 17, 2024


We live in a society that idolizes beauty every single day. Advertisements of beautiful people, influencers with perfectly chiseled abs and jaw lines, advertisements with beautiful people, beautiful people around us in the world…

Studies even show that attractive people are more successful in life (seriously, it’s called the Beauty Premium).

Before we get too far, let’s all just be honest with ourselves for a moment:

Everyone loves beautiful things. We are drawn beautiful cars, and homes, and clothes, and yes — beautiful people. The “beauty premium” exists because it’s a real thing, and there’s no denying or getting around that.

My “ID” (for the psychology majors out there) happily admits that I strive for a beautiful life, myself. I want to give a beautiful life to my family. I believe our surroundings enhance the richness of the human experience. I am the first person to scope out the ambiance of a restaurant before making reservations, or ensure the aesthetic of a workspace is properly optimized for productivity.

My wife and I love coordinating and matching our outfits for us and the kids. This is not a “beauty is bad” article.

This is a “There are far more important things than beauty” article.

When it comes to building intimate relationships, friendships, or living a happy and fulfilling life — there is a lot more to look for than just surface appearance.

That’s what this article is about, qualities we should be looking for in a person (and to have for ourselves) that actually make for a good partner, as physical appearance is no guarantee. Anyone who’s dated someone for their looks and been supremely disappointed can attest to this.

Subsequently, if you struggle with self-image in this area, the beauty (no pun intended) of the qualities below is that they have nothing to do with the way you look, and they’re all under your control.

Immature love chooses the person who looks best in your Instagram selfies. Mature love chooses one who has…



James Michael Sama

I help you evolve into the ultimate version of yourself. Life & Executive Coach. Multi #1 writer. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hi! @JamesMSama