10 Questions Every Man Needs to Ask Himself Before Dating a Mom

You’re committing to a lot more than being a standard “boyfriend.”

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James, Rachel, Liliana (1), Rosabella (5)

1. Am I secure enough to take a back seat sometimes?

Every article you’ll ever read about dating a mom will tell you that her kids will always come first. Anyone who has any experience with children knows that they, themselves, are a full time job. Depending on the age(s) of your new love interest’s children, the “full-timeness” will obviously change.

2. Am I capable of showing what healthy love is supposed to look like?

Daughters will grow up to date men who are like us. Sons will grow up to be men who are like us.

3. Am I patient?

Believe me, this one is important.

4. Can I accept someone else’s life philosophies?

Entering into an existing family is a completely different dynamic than starting one on your own. Discussions about how to raise children and what to teach them at young ages have already passed, or the children may be old enough to already have their own developed worldview.

5. Can I coexist with the biological father?

Not all bio-dads are still in the picture, but if he is, what are the relationship dynamics like there? Was the separation amicable? What is the custody arrangement?

6. Am I willing to bring real value to the table?

Unless she tells you otherwise, a mom who’s looking for a relationship isn’t just looking for a fling.

7. Do I still need constant validation?

If always needing to be reminded of her love is your thing, you’ve opened the wrong door.

8. Am I excited about building a life with this person?

We should always ask ourselves this question when we enter into a committed relationship, no matter what the circumstances. But, dating a parent is not something to be taken lightly and therefore really needs to be examined from all angles.

9. Can I go ALL IN?

Moms don’t half-ass they way they live, or the way they love. If she’s choosing you as a partner, father figure to her kids, and potential lifelong mate, she is not doing it on a whim and she isn’t going to take it lightly.

10. Will I show up and do my best every day, no matter what?

Nobody is perfect. We all have ups and downs, good days and bad days, stressful days and relaxing ones. Making the conscious decision to become both a partner and a “dad,” though, is a completely new universe to operate in.

Written by

International speaker, writer, & adviser helping you build happier relationships. Seen: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. JamesMSama.com: 38 million+ views.

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