10 Signs He’s Not Ready For Commitment

It’s not your job to figure out why he won’t commit, just to protect yourself when you recognize the signs.

I spent a lot of years avoiding commitment in relationships. Most of my 20s, actually.

I’d been a late bloomer and had a lot of exploring and catching up to do. Traveling. Meeting new people. Having new experiences.

Everyone goes through these phases in different stages of their life, and the only thing they really want is to be single and free.

The question isn’t “why does this individual have this need in this moment?”

The question is: “What are the signs of someone who’s not ready to commit, so I know when to move on?”

1: He never plans for (or talks about) the future.

A man who’s excited about spending time with you into the future is going to make it known. He’ll bring up holidays, or his cousin’s destination wedding, or a concert he’d love to see…next year.

When you can really see yourself with someone in the long run, it’s exciting to talk about all of the possibilities and experiences you can share together.

If he’s not planning or talking about these things with you, he may not be able to see that far ahead. That’s not a personal dig at you or anyone else that he’s dating, because it might not be about you. It may simply be that he’s not ready to look that far down the line, or make a long term commitment when he’s not sure what his “long term” looks like.

2: His personal life has no sign of “settling down.”

I always hesitate to use the term “settle down” because I think that people should have fun and live an adventurous life together, but I’m using it here to illustrate a point.

If he is all in on his single-and-ready-to-mingle lifestyle to the point where his entire identity is synonymous with being a bachelor, then the odds are you should acknowledge the signs before too much time goes by.

Can people change and get more serious for someone that they picture a real future with? Sure. But the question…