10 Things Good Men Never Do In Relationships

Good men live by a code.

James Michael Sama
6 min readOct 27, 2021


I recognize that “never” is a strong word. We all have good days and bad days, and it’s easy to slip below the standards of our own expectations at times.

However, I believe that good men hold themselves to a standard of conduct in all areas of life — and particularly how they treat their significant other.

This means being clear on what he will do, and what he won’t do.

Leave your thoughts in the comments for what else you think should (or shouldn’t) be on this list.

1: A good man will never pick apart your looks.

“Oh, if only your hair was a little longer.” “If only you lost those couple of extra pounds.” “If you would only wear more makeup…”

A good man will never take jabs at your appearance in a way that is demeaning to you or makes you feel badly about yourself.

A classic emotionally abusive behavior is purposely attempting to lower your self worth so you will not feel confident enough to leave him. It is his way of trying to control you and inflict you with doubt about who you are and what you deserve.

This is a huge red flag and will not change as time goes on, it’ll simply get worse as he infiltrates your thoughts further. Walk. Away. Now.

2: A good man will never invade your privacy.

In a healthy relationship, there is no need to hide anything. Texts, emails, Facebook messages — whatever. But that doesn’t mean your partner has the right to snoop through them if you happen to leave your phone around or your computer open.

Someone who does this is showing you a massive insecurity on their part and is likely projecting their own infidelities and issues onto you. This should not be ignored.

Obviously, this doesn’t give any of us the right to betray a partner’s trust behind their backs simply because they’re not looking for warning signs. That trust he (should be) giving has to be earned and maintained.

3: A good man will never discourage you.



James Michael Sama

Helping high achievers build deeper fulfillment & love. Multi #1 writer. Coach & Speaker. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hello! @JamesMSama