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10 Ways To Spot An Emotionally Mature Man

His actions tell the real story.

James Michael Sama
8 min readAug 8, 2022


As someone who grew up around strong male and female role models, my controversial opinion is this:

Boys and men are seriously lacking good quality male role models to look up to in modern society.

That is one of the reasons I started my blog nearly 10 years ago, in an attempt to be an arbiter of logical and civilized discussion around what it takes to be an emotionally mature man.

Emotionally mature men are capable of loving, protecting, caring for, and opening up to their loved ones (and themselves). They have layers, depth, and aren’t afraid to be introspective.

I believe that our society has a longstanding tradition of stifling the emotional growth and exploration of boys and men along their journey of self discovery. We are told that showing emotions or vulnerability is “weak,” and largely encouraged to pretend that everything is fine, even when it’s not.

However, there has been a shift in recent years to cultivate a more open and honest discussion about the human realities we all face, regardless of gender.

How, then, do you identify a man who has done the inner work to grow into an emotionally mature member of society, who’s capable of a loving and dedicated relationship?

1: He respects everyone equally.

As the old saying goes: A man of quality is not afraid of equality.

Now, more than ever, we are living in diverse and complex societies. I, for one, have always enjoyed a heterogeneous community over a homogeneous one. In other words, I think wide varieties of people are far more interesting than spending time with those who are all the same.

When you spend time around all different types of humans, you see our commonalities more than our differences.

You understand that we are all navigating the roads of the human experience the best we can with the tools that we have. We all have our own insecurities, doubts, fears, regrets, dreams, and hopes.

When you see through the facade painted for you by false narratives in society, you’ll start getting along a lot better with…



James Michael Sama

Helping high achievers build deeper fulfillment & love. Multi #1 writer. Coach & Speaker. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hello! @JamesMSama