12 Unspoken Truths We Must Accept About Love

You don’t fall in love, you build it.

James Michael Sama
11 min readJun 3


You’re going to find countless articles on the internet that make you feel all warm and fuzzy about love — and many of them are true.

I say that because, well…I probably wrote most of them.

What isn’t true, though, is that love is all sunshine and rainbows.

That it’s bunnies running through fields in the springtime. That it’s free of worry or concern. That it’s…well, you get the idea.

Love is a journey. A dynamic and varied path that we walk alongside our chosen partner. It is something we build and strengthen over time through consistent action.

Along this journey we’ll find triumphs, victories, challenges, struggles, pain, joy, loss, and everything in between.

In the forthcoming points, we’ll discuss the actual realities of what it entails to recognize and build true love.

A journey worth taking.

1: Love teaches you who you really are.

I believe that many people spend most of their lives (if not all) feeling unclear about who they really are at their core.

Their values, beliefs, worldview — identity itself is a foggy or passive concept that sort of gets skirted over as life happens around us.

Many of us make decisions based on external factors such as what’s going to make us the most money, what’s best for our staff or shareholders, what’s best for our children, or parents, or loved ones, or — anyone but ourselves.

While this (to an extent) is noble and selfless, many approach it to such an extreme that they lose sight of who they really are in the process.

Love will bring you back down to earth.

Love will put you face to face with what it is that you really want and need in order to be happy. You cannot lie to yourself about your own feelings, no matter how hard you try, or how much of a show you put on for others.

You’ll explore the things and people that you do (and don’t) want in your life. If it’s healthy love, you’ll feel safe and secure in your relationship, which will…



James Michael Sama

Helping high achievers build deeper fulfillment & love. Multi #1 writer. Coach & Speaker. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hello! @JamesMSama