15 Actions That Show He’s “All In”

He’s serious about building a future with you, if…

James Michael Sama
10 min readFeb 19, 2024


We all know that actions speak louder than words, but sometimes when it comes to the emotionally charged playing field of dating and relationships, we get caught up on promises of potential, overlook red flags, and start to make excuses for poor behavior.

It’s important, then, that we stay clear-headed on observing someone’s real and truthful behavior in order to determine whether or not they really are who they’re presenting themselves as.

Let me be clear — I fully understand how difficult this is to put into practice. One of the most powerful strategies I give my private clients is to consistently “take inventory” of their relationship and partner.

What this means is, take an uncensored and honest look at the way things are going between you. Are your needs being met? Are you seeing red flags? Has their personality changed over time? Are you truly and genuinely making each other happy?

Ask these questions (and many others, of course), frequently. Just because you like the answers today doesn’t mean you’ll still like them in 6 months (though, hopefully, you do).

If you don’t, though, you need to have the courage to address the elephant in the room when it walks in. Consistently holding yourself accountable to taking this inventory may be difficult, but it can also save you years of pain and heartbreak that could come as a result of ignoring red flags.

Below, I’ll discuss some of the green flags that signal a man is serious about building a future with you. Not based on his words — but his actions.

1: He prioritizes spending time with you.

I used very specific wording here for a reason: “Spending time with you.”

Not just texting you, or DMing you, or sending you selfies. I mean spending genuine, real, quality time with you.

Spending time with you takes effort — it takes effort to plan dates, to drive to your house, to get dressed and look presentable, to back up words with actions.

Here’s the harsh truth: He could be sending those same exact texts that he’s sending to you, to…



James Michael Sama

I help you evolve into the ultimate version of yourself. Life & Executive Coach. Multi #1 writer. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hi! @JamesMSama