15 Behaviors That Push Women Away

Are you sabotaging your own dating life?

James Michael Sama
17 min readJun 16, 2024


“You don’t know what you don’t know.”

This quote reverberates in my mind when I think about all of the things I’ve not experienced, seen, or learned (yet). I cannot even begin to fathom what they might be — because, well, I don’t know what I don’t know.

It’s sort of like looking into the universe and visualizing what an alien might look like. If there is no frame of reference, any image you create in your mind is simply a wild guess not rooted in reality.

For lots of guys (as it once was for me), this is what dating feels like. We’re told “it will just work out” when the right person comes along, as if we’re supposed to magically have the skills and knowledge to cultivate a healthy and thriving relationship.

The truth is that you might (like I was) be making a slew of mistakes in dating and relationships that you don’t even realize you’re making.

Here are some of the things you might not have realized are holding you back…until now.

1: You spend too much time trying to sell yourself.

In other words: You spend far too much time talking about yourself and not enough time learning about…



James Michael Sama

I help you evolve into the ultimate version of yourself. Life & Executive Coach. Multi #1 writer. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hi! @JamesMSama