20 Things You Deserve From The Person You Love

Why spend the rest of your life settling for less?

James Michael Sama
23 min readMay 23


I believe one of the big reasons that people don’t get what they deserve in life or in love — is because they’ve not worked to define what that really means yet.

It’s a cute fortune cookie phrase to say “don’t settle for less than you deserve!”

But, it falls on deaf ears if a person can’t really wrap their head around what it means. What does one “deserve” in love, after all?

I believe that good, honest, authentic, and loving people deserve everything that they’re willing to give to their partner in return. They deserve a high level of treatment because they earn that level of treatment by providing it to the person they love.

This is the essence of a healthy and successful relationship — teamwork. Reciprocity. The understanding that both partners are willing to put in equal effort to help each other feel valued, cherished, respected, and appreciated.

Let’s, then, dig into some of the actions, feelings, and behaviors that you deserve from someone that you’re committing the rest of your life to.

1: You deserve someone who’s done the inner work.

Much of the success your relationship enjoys will be the result of the inner work you both did before you even met.

Inner work — what is that, exactly?

Inner work is the process of figuring out who you are, what you want, what your purpose is, and what your needs are.

It’s effectively teaching yourself about yourself.

Peeling back the layers of the onion and looking beneath the surface. Being introspective. Reflecting on past mistakes, pains, traumas, and hurts — then, processing them. Pulling lessons from them. Learning, and moving forward.

Inner work is rooted in the desire to improve one’s self and to take back control of the narrative of one’s life.

It requires a person to really be proactive about figuring out who they are today and who they want to become in the future.



James Michael Sama

Helping high achievers build deeper fulfillment & love. Multi #1 writer. Coach & Speaker. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hello! @JamesMSama