7 Reasons Your Lover Should Be Your Best Friend
You can have a friendship without a relationship, but not a relationship without a friendship.
Friedrich Nietzsche once said: “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
This concept serves to teach us the importance of building a foundation for happiness that stretches beyond intimacy into friendship itself.
1: Friends see [and accept] all sides of each other.
When dating, we typically only want to show someone our best self. We are always well put together, well behaved, and well mannered. Of course, we should consistently try to be these things as often as humanly possible, but the fact of the matter is that we are all going to have bad days. We get stressed, we get sick, we face challenges. Life throws us curveballs — and expecting a shining exterior every second of every day is not only unrealistic, but it is also dishonest.
It doesn’t matter when you roll over in bed with no makeup on, a fever, and swollen eyes — a true friend (or lover) will love and take care of you just the same. Someone who is just in it for the sex or as a fling, will not.
2: Friends have fun together no matter what.
You’re getting together with your best friend this weekend — oh no! What are you going to do? Where are you going to go to dinner? What movie are you going to see? How are you going to survive your 4-hour drive in the car together?
These questions are never concerns when it comes to spending time with a friend, because it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you are together when you do it. It should be the same way with your lover.
3: Friends are comfortable around each other.
Comfort is a tricky concept, because we cannot allow ourselves to get too comfortable in any relationship, no matter how long we are together. If this happens, eventually we transition over into complacency, and that is territory which is void of energy, romance, or excitement. We cannot fall into this trap, but there is also a good kind of comfort…