8 Warning Signs Of A Toxic Relationship
Sometimes we overlook red flags early in a relationship because we are caught up in the new passion and excitement, but staying aware of warning signs can help prevent pain and heartbreak down the road.
It’s important to note that you don’t need physical abuse in order to have a toxic relationship. These actions are not gender-specific and should not be tolerated under any circumstances.
If you are made to feel any of the following ways or recognize any of the following warning signs, then you truly need to take a step back, put your emotions aside, and ask yourself if your partner is really the person you thought they were.
I’ve chosen to highlight less glaring signs of abuse and toxicity because many of these present themselves in everyday circumstances and aren’t recognized for what they truly are.
– You always feel guilty, but don’t know why.
Is your partner always making you feel as though you did something wrong, but you genuinely can’t understand why? There are people who literally seek out and find issues, and when they can’t find one — they create them. These people typically have a longstanding pattern of this type of behavior because it’s ingrained in them. Trying to “fix” or “change” them will only lead to frustration and heartbreak.
– They’re obsessively jealous.
It’s okay to be ‘kinda sorta’ jealous. Jealous in a way that says “I care about you” — but jealousy that controls your social life, keeps you away from friends or family, snoops through your phone, or prevents you from doing anything on your own is a red flag of someone who is irrationally jealous and will slowly whittle your social life down to nothing — unless it includes them. Run.
– You’re paranoid about leaving your phone around.
Nobody should be invading your privacy or investigating your every move. This is a clear sign of distrust and possibly even projection of things they themselves are guilty of. If you don’t feel comfortable leaving your phone around them while you get up for 5 minutes, what does that really say about the trust factor in your relationship?
– It’s always your fault.
Nobody is perfect. If you’re in a relationship with multiple conflicts and you find that they arise 100% of the time because of something you’ve been accused of doing (that you really didn’t do) then you need to walk (run) away, because it won’t stop. People who refuse to acknowledge any of their own faults or wrongdoing will always avoid responsibility and therefore never work to change.
– You’re always the one going back.
The frequent pattern of breaking up and getting back together is, by itself, a huge red flag for an unhealthy relationship. However, when you find yourself to always be the one running back to the person to apologize, even when you weren’t at fault — you absolutely need to take a breather. A great relationship is worth fighting for, but it’s not a great relationship if you’re the only one fighting.
– You’re never good enough.
Are you discouraged from following your goals or dreams? Even if it’s indirect, do you feel like you’ve actually lost self-confidence because of your relationship? A healthy couple will support and encourage each other. Build each other up. Cheer each other on as they follow their dreams. Not the other way around.
– You no longer do what you love.
Do you have passions and hobbies that your partner doesn’t approve of because of who’s around you or where you go? If what you’re doing is inherently innocent, they should be supportive and enjoy seeing you happy. Every relationship requires compromise, but if you give up doing everything and essentially become a shell of your former self in an effort to avoid a fight, this is not normal.
– You never know when they’re going to explode.
Are you always walking on eggshells because you don’t know when your partner’s next insecurity will arise in the form of an accusation or blowout?
That is not what a healthy relationship looks like.
There are obviously thousands of more signs that can be seen as red flags to a toxic relationship — but I find that some of these above are ones that typically pass off as “normal” and people don’t realize that they are being mentally or emotionally abused.
Please, please, please — have the respect for yourself to walk away from a situation like this. It may be hard and you may be afraid to confront your partner about your feelings (which is another red flag) but your future self will thank you for it.
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This piece was originally published on JamesMSama.com.