Don’t Worry If You Feel Lost And Confused — So Does Everyone Else
Not everything is what people project it to be.
How much of your stress is caused by looking at the distance between where you’re at in life, and where you want to be?
Perhaps your income isn’t where you’d like. Perhaps you’re going through a breakup. Perhaps you’re struggling with changing your major because you discovered that corporate tax law isn’t your life’s passion.
Perhaps you’ve just gotten passed over for that promotion because of office politics.
You hop online for a bit of an escape, and then what do you see?
That Instagram couple with the shredded abs who never seems to work or actually live anywhere. The flashy cars, houses, watches, romantic relationships, happy marriages.
Let me tell you a little secret:
It’s all bullshit.
Sure, those things really exist. People do make millions of dollars, influencers do lead amazing lives, people do have great marriages — but nobody is perfect. Nobody’s life is free of stress, struggles, and challenges.
Spending nearly a decade speaking and coaching in the personal development industry, I can tell you that there are so many similarities between humans it’s staggering. We all face our own challenges, struggles, insecurities, and self-doubts.
It really doesn’t matter how beautiful or successful someone is, there is something they’re challenged with. Sometimes severely.
I have a private coaching client who is very successful in her career, and she has told me in the past that she doesn’t understand why she’s trusted with so much responsibility.
“Who am I to make those decisions?”
It’s called Impostor Syndrome (I’m not kidding, look it up), and when I explained the concept to her, it completely shifted her perspective on how she saw herself.
Impostor syndrome is when you feel unworthy of the responsibility or position you hold. As if someday, everyone is going to figure out that you don’t know what the hell you’re doing.
The more successful that people become, the more intense their impostor syndrome can get. I was once asked by a CEO during a presentation what percentage of CEOs I thought struggled with impostor syndrome.
My immediate answer was: “100%”
He nodded in agreement. Do you know why?
Because they are just human like you and I. They are normal, regular, everyday people — who choose to work their ass to the bone every day becoming successful and creating the life they want to live. And with that journey comes more struggle than living a ‘beige’ life, which both challenges and increases their confidence, simultaneously.
So when they do reach huge levels of success, there is always an underlying thought of ‘do I really deserve this?’
It. Happens. To. Everyone.
Remember that every single person you encounter has deep-rooted insecurities you know nothing about. Beautiful people, successful people, short, tall, fat, skinny, poor, exorbitantly wealthy, famous…
At the end of the day, we are all human beings who are walking our paths trying to figure out what in the blue hell we are doing. Often times, the people who look like they have it the MOST together, are the ones struggling behind the scenes.
So, don’t judge. Be kind, and never put yourself down because it seems like everyone else has it all figured out.
This is why we can’t relate to people who pretend like they have it all together. People who tell us how great, or amazing, or smart they are. It seems like they live in a different reality from us, free of struggle. So, we can’t empathize with them.
But have faith that, unless they are a sociopath, they secretly also face their own challenges which they are likely masking by portraying what they want to be a ‘flawless’ image.
There is no blueprint for your life. No predetermined path or outline to follow. There is literally nobody who has ever lived that had the exact set of circumstances you have. This means you are free to use the world as your own private superhero training facility and play, run, jump, explore, figure shit out as you go.
Just like everyone else is doing.
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