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How To Attract High Value Women

You attract what you project.

James Michael Sama
12 min readJan 2, 2025

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Dating is confusing. I spent many years living the single life (though granted, many by choice), and I hear constantly from private clients how difficult it is to navigate the tumultuous terrain of dating apps, canceled plans, unanswered texts, and the general high tide of chaos that seems to be driving everyone to shores of refuge.

Another trend I’ve noticed after more than a decade of coaching, is that for the first time, a high percentage of my clients are men!

That means, yes, men are putting in the work and effort to get better.

In response to that, I’m laying out some general points below that can help the guys better understand what it is that the modern woman is really looking for in a teammate, a partner, and a companion.

1: Have a PURPOSE.

Alright dude…it doesn’t matter how physically attractive you are, how many friends you have, or how good you (think) you are in bed — if you don’t have a direction in life.

The type of woman that you’re looking for is looking for a man who has a vision for his future, a plan, a purpose, a mission.

Something that drives him forward every day. A level of ambition that matches hers, so that you two can join…

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James Michael Sama
James Michael Sama

Written by James Michael Sama

I help you evolve into the ultimate version of yourself. Life & Executive Coach. Multi #1 writer. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hi! @JamesMSama

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