How To Spot A Bullshitter

It (should be) easier than it seems.

James Michael Sama
8 min readFeb 26, 2024

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Alright, here’s the deal: I want the points in this article to help you identify and swiftly move away from someone who is so full of B.S. that it is pouring out of their eyeballs.

“James, I can already spot them a mile away!”

That’s great! And maybe some of you can — but many of us end up going down the wrong road or in the wrong relationship with the wrong person because they’ve got us so caught up in a web of lies that we don’t even know what’s real anymore.

Example A, B, and C: Many, many Netflix documentaries about otherwise intelligent people being swindled by con-artists.

None of these people thought it’d ever happen to them.

All of these people would’ve thought themselves immune to such brazen nonsense.

But, as the old saying goes: Precipitation gon’ precipitate…manipulators gon’ manipulate.

Alright, I just made that up.

Either way, let’s talk about some giant waving red flags that you should always keep in mind, no matter how handsome, beautiful, charming, or well-spoken someone is.

Disclaimer: I want to acknowledge the obvious truth that manipulation is very real, and nobody chooses to be on the receiving end of it. While I have been a life and relationship coach for more than a decade, I am not a psychologist nor am I licensed to diagnose or opine on a “condition” that may lead to these behaviors, such as narcissism. These are my opinions and based on conversations with clients and my own personal life.

Now, onward:

1: Grandiose promises about the future.

Most people who make gigantic claims about all of the things they’re going to give to you (“as long as you do XYZ…) are, well, full of shit.

Keep in mind that this is not the same thing as someone who discusses big dreams, goals, and future plans with you — that’s the type of teamwork and partnership you want in a relationship.

The difference lies in both the extremity of the promise, your duties in order for them to fulfill that promise (whether it’s physical, financial, or…

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James Michael Sama

I help you evolve into the ultimate version of yourself. Life & Executive Coach. Multi #1 writer. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hi! @JamesMSama