If Women Keep Walking Away…This Might Be Why

Are you pushing her away without realizing it?

James Michael Sama
17 min readNov 20, 2023


“You don’t know what you don’t know.”

This quote reverberates in my mind when I think about all of the things I’ve not experienced, seen, or learned (yet). I cannot even begin to fathom what they might be — because, well, I don’t know what I don’t know.

It’s sort of like looking into the universe and visualizing what an alien might look like. If there is no frame of reference, any image you create in your mind is simply a wild guess not rooted in reality.

For lots of guys (as it once was for me), this is what dating feels like. We’re told “it will just work out” when the right person comes along, as if we’re supposed to magically have the skills and knowledge to cultivate a healthy and thriving relationship.

The truth is that you might (like I was) be making a slew of mistakes in dating and relationships that you don’t even realize you’re making.

Here are some of the things you might not have realized are holding you back…until now.

1: You spend too much time trying to sell yourself.

In other words: You spend far too much time talking about yourself and not enough time learning about her.

Dating is not supposed to be a sales pitch where you try to convince the person on the other end of the table that you’re their best option. It’s about mutually learning and figuring out whether or not you are both a match for each other.

What’s more is that she’s going to see right through what you’re doing. A lot of guys think that name dropping famous friends, or flashing an expensive watch, or picking her up in your six-figure car is going to be impressive.

Here’s the thing — we can all appreciate hard work, dedication, and the enjoyment of nice things…but we must ask, if those are the things that draw a person to us, for what reasons are they interested?

Are they looking past the material items and fanciful lifestyle and falling in love with your sparkling personality?



James Michael Sama

I help you evolve into the ultimate version of yourself. Life & Executive Coach. Multi #1 writer. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hi! @JamesMSama