If You’re Not Having Fun, What’s The Point?
The goal is to laugh forever with someone you take seriously.
A relationship should enhance our life, not complicate it.
I think sometimes, we forget this simple truth when we’re searching for a partner.
It becomes a chore, or a tedious task that adds to the course of our day. We have to open that dating app. We have to go on that blind date. We have to answer that text.
Dating should be fun. It provides us an opportunity to learn about someone new while exploring the thought in our mind about what a life with them could look like.
Does the conversation flow? Do your values align? Do you feel that unspoken permission to express your true self, free of judgment?
Are you having fun around them?
The one single question we should ask ourselves at the end of each date with a person is: Do I want to do this again?
Simple. Easy. Uncomplicated.
That’s really all a lifetime together with someone is — making the decision that you want to “do this again” every single day. And none of us want to keep doing something for the rest of our lives if we’re not enjoying it.
Sure, life is a rollercoaster. We are going to face losses and challenges and struggles and failures. Someone could get hurt, or sick, or lose a business.
It’s not all going to be sunshine and rainbows, and we must keep that in mind when choosing the person we want alongside of us during it all.
The partner you choose will magnify the experiences you have. They make the brighter days brighter, and the darker days more ominous.
Are they supportive and compassionate? Can they put their own interests aside to listen when you need them most? Are they fully present and emotionally connected to you and the matters you care about?
These are all of the qualities that can help move us through hard times that would otherwise be made even more difficult by being with the wrong person.
They also serve to enhance the positive life experiences that create lasting memories.
While these life challenges are real and often unexpected, we mustn’t become a slave to them. We cannot live in anticipation of a failure or a defeat. We must embrace and enjoy each moment that life hands us in the present, for it is all we truly have.
The time is always now.
I believe we often forget this. We get so caught up in the “shoulds”of life that, as Tony Robbins says, “we should all over ourselves.”
It takes the fun out of living. It takes the excitement and passion out of those moments with the person we love that should echo throughout eternity. Bills and obligations and chores and errands are real and cannot be overlooked, but they also must not rule us.
Life is like one of those choose your own adventure books where each decision you make changes the course and the outcome.
One of the biggest and most important decisions we can make, if we choose to enter a relationship, is the person we enter into it with.
They will affect our mood, our priorities, our view of the world. They can encourage or discourage us. They can support us or watch as we fall.
They can make us feel restricted, or free. Our entire reality can shift based on the partner that we choose.
Life can be serious and dull, or vibrant and colorful.
You can find the person who chooses you every single day, not out of necessity, but because they truly and genuinely feel in their heart and mind that you are the person they want to spend their days with.
We’ve lost sight of what a genuine honor that is. Perhaps the highest of them all.
Nearly 8 billion humans on this planet, and you’ve been chosen as a life partner above all the rest. Is there a greater gift?
Every relationship that has ever existed is different than the next. The combination of personalities that create a “family” is infinite, which is what makes the journey so exciting. Each day presents a new possibility for adventure, love, and passion.
String enough of these days together, and we create what we call a life.
Each lifelong commitment starts with one day. Then, the next. And the next.
The key is to make sure we stop and embrace each day as it arrives. Solve the problems, experience the joys, do not let one cloud the other.
Stop living like we get another chance at this.
Give yourself permission to have some fun.
Life is too short for anything less.