Is It Mature Or Immature Love?

5 Major Differences.

James Michael Sama
5 min readSep 13


Love may not be something we traditionally consider as being “mature” or “immature,” but the truth is that our ability to — and ways of loving will mature (verb) over time just as we do.

We can easily see the evolution in ourselves and our relationships over time (hopefully) if we’ve grown as a person. We learn how to handle conflict, to compromise, to be patient, and to live in harmony with another.

How, then, do mature and immature love differ from each other?

1: Mature love is peaceful, immature love is chaotic.

Think of the turmoil and drama in life’s earliest relationships — raging hormones, two wild kids trying to figure each other (and themselves) out. Curiosity about the world, other people, how things work…

And, lack of clarity around self and identity.

This recipe creates an environment where peace seems elusive and chaos seems the norm. We are more attached to each other than in love with each other, and it shows through the emotional eruptions that happen as the tectonic plates of our lives shift underneath us.

However — as we grow and mature, we (hopefully) become more settled and at peace. At peace with our lives, with our routines, and most of all — with ourselves.

You can feel this within, and easily see it in others. Look at the relationships of people in their teenage years, or early 20’s — and then look at the relationships of people who’ve stuck together over decades, who’ve made the lifelong commitment to each other, who truly understand each other. The more “mature” that our love grows, the more peaceful it should become.

2: Mature love fixes problems, immature love ignores them.

It would be dishonest to say that problems are nonexistent in mature love, or any kind of love — problems and challenges never go away, no matter how long two people are together or how well they harmonize.

The difference lies in what is done (and how it’s done) when these challenges do arise.



James Michael Sama

Helping high achievers build deeper fulfillment & love. Multi #1 writer. Coach & Speaker. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hello! @JamesMSama