Men Who Win The Dating Game Do These 12 Things

Here’s how they prepared themselves for “Mrs. Right” to come along.

James Michael Sama
12 min readMay 26


Chance, strategy, or both? How is it that the men who attract the woman of their dreams into their life actually do it? Is it a matter of luck, circumstance, randomly being in the right place at the right time?

Or — is it something more deliberate and intentional?

Here’s what I think the truth is: It’s a split between the two that favors the conscious and purposeful preparation for the right circumstances to align.

In other words: You need to be ready for her to arrive in your life when she does, otherwise you’ll miss your shot no matter how well the stars are aligned.

How, then, do you get ready?

1: Get clear on your own identity.

I often save this point for the end of an article but I’m starting out with it here because, without it, nothing else is going to help you.

Clarity around one’s identity requires an immense amount of inner work and courage to achieve.

Courage because it calls you to be honest and unfiltered in your assessment of yourself. To really reflect on the life you’re living, the values and beliefs you hold, the career path you’ve chosen, and the people you’re spending your time around.

Most people avoid this internal inquiry because they might not like what they find. The answer can’t hurt them if they don’t ask the question — right?

On the contrary — avoiding the question also avoids finding a solution when there is an issue, and there often is, because our society doesn’t encourage us to explore who we really are.

We are asked what we do (or want to do), we focus on making the most money, driving the nicest cars, living in the best neighborhoods — but all of it can feel empty if we don’t fully understand why we’re doing it or who we’re working to become.

Another adverse affect of the blurriness is that we risk choosing the wrong partner to spend our lives with — how can we not, really? If we don’t know who we are or what we stand for, how can we know what type of person is best suited for…



James Michael Sama

Helping high achievers build deeper fulfillment & love. Multi #1 writer. Coach & Speaker. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hello! @JamesMSama