Subtle Signs He’s (Probably) Leading You On

Actions are loud. So is their absence.

James Michael Sama
12 min readNov 25, 2023

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You’ve probably spent too much time in the wrong relationship because you overlooked (or missed) the subtle signs that someone was just not giving their full emotional investment. Sometimes, these signs can be more glaring than others, and it’s easy to overlook the smaller ones when we are caught up in the emotional excitement of a new partner.

If you’ve ever let your heart outrun your brain and miss the red flags — big or small — then let the forthcoming points be your guide along your next journey into love.

1: You haven’t met his friends or family.

Speaking from personal experience, the excitement of meeting someone new (that you’re truly interested in) is one that you want to share with your friends and family. Of course, you want to make sure that it’s real first, but when it is, the invitations begin.

“I can’t wait for you to meet my (insert special person here).”

And conversely, they’ll be telling their special people all about you, as well.

Building a relationship with someone means intertwining your lives together. It means going to family get-togethers, work parties, going out with friends…

An important caveat: Some people, of course, take longer than others to get comfortable with this concept. They want to let the two of you develop as a couple before they bring other people into the mix, and make sure that you are on a solid path together.

I once knew someone that had a rule about dating someone for a certain amount of time before they introduced them to any of their friends or family. This, of course, is because they jumped the gun too fast in the past and didn’t want to face the same disappointment again.

Let me be clear — this is about someone who is clearly and deliberately keeping you away from the people he cares about. There is always an excuse or a “convenient reason” why you (or they) can’t come along.

Maybe he’s even met some of your friends or family, too — but, his just never seem to be around.

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James Michael Sama

I help you evolve into the ultimate version of yourself. Life & Executive Coach. Multi #1 writer. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hi! @JamesMSama