The 10 Most Important Things Happy Couples Do Daily

Do MORE of this and LESS of that.

It has always confused me that we are taught the least about a part of our life that matters the most.

The quality of the relationships we choose for ourselves can influence every other area of life. An unhealthy and tense marriage can impact performance at work, it can cause mental and physical health issues, it can build depression, resentment, and discontent.

Conversely, a healthy and thriving relationship helps us to feel connected, fulfilled, driven, inspired, and happy.

Yet, something so important in our lives is often left up to chance.

“Just be yourself, the right person will come along.”

“When you know, you know.”

We’re given passive — and frankly useless advice that doesn’t give us any real knowledge or skills when it comes to building or maintaining relationships.

“James, skills?! Shouldn’t love just be natural?”

Herein lies the issue: Love, as an emotion — and as a verb — is baked into our emotional experience, sure.

But, it takes more than just love to build a thriving and happy relationship that lasts in the long run. Don’t take my word for it, though, ask anyone who’s been with their partner for years or decades if it just “happened,” or if it took real effort every day.

So, how, then, do we intentionally and deliberately create the life and love that we want alongside the partner we’ve chosen?

Do more of this, and less of that:

1: MORE listening, and LESS jumping to conclusions.

When we enter into a relationship, we bring our past with us. Our past experiences, past traumas, past hurts, and past preconceived notions of what a relationship “should be” like.

If we rest too heavily on assumptions, though, we block ourselves from learning the true nature of the new person we’re letting into our lives.

Perhaps one of the most difficult challenges that love presents: We must be fully open and unbiased each time we meet someone new.