The 10 Point Guide to Becoming a More Attractive Man

There is a lot of confusion in the dating world these days surrounding what women want, how men are ‘supposed’ to act, or even what kind(s) of men actually attract women.

James Michael Sama
9 min readJan 5, 2020


The points in this article are designed to help you approach life and love through a new, clearer lens. There is no predicting how our lives are going to unfold in the future, but we can do our best to create the circumstances we want to live in every day.

1: She doesn’t really want the nice guy.

First thing’s first — get the idea out of your head that a woman wants a guy who’s just going to be nice and mushy all the time. Regardless of how many articles I write on this website about bringing back romance, that doesn’t mean being kind and romantic is the only thing a man should be.

A woman wants to know that you care enough to be genuine and loving towards her, but she still wants you to be her MAN. She wants to be able to count on you for protection, for help, for support, for a variety of circumstances that may arise in life that ‘a nice guy’ simply wouldn’t be equipped for.

She needs a man who will challenge her and help her grow. A man who will be honest and truthful with her (without ever being hurtful). If she can walk all over you and call the shots 100% of the time, she WILL get bored and eventually walk away.

You can be a good man without being ‘the nice guy.’ Balance is the key.

2: You need to stop idolizing women.

Love. Adore. Cherish. Value. Respect.

Never idolize.

Many men put women on a pedestal that essentially turns them into a mythical creature like a unicorn. There are a few reasons why this is a bad idea:

  • It psychologically puts you out of the game. You’ll never think you could get her attention.
  • It turns her into something she’s not. Nobody is perfect. Nobody is without flaws. Nobody is superhuman.
  • It changes how you approach her. If you do not see her as a human being just like you…



James Michael Sama

Helping high achievers build deeper fulfillment & love. Multi #1 writer. Coach & Speaker. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hello! @JamesMSama