Trust is one of the most overlooked but also most valuable aspects of any personal or professional relationship. Earning it is easier than you think, if you just remember that everyone is a human being.
Think for a second about what the most foundational pieces of any relationship are. Whether personal or professional, what qualities do you look for in a person you’re choosing to interact with?
One of the pieces I feel doesn’t get focused on enough is the importance of trust. Can I trust this person to tell me the truth? To give me a fair price? To not cheat on me? To be there when I need them? To help me run my business?
Trust may not be on the top of your “sexy qualities” list that you look for on a daily basis, but it should be, because without trust, nothing else can fully exist in its optimized form.
Here are five ways to build an even stronger sense of trust with any human being you meet.
Just be human.
I learned a long time ago that nobody deserves more or less respect based on income level, career, car, house, clothes, or any other exterior factor other than who they are as a person.
I used to get nervous around people who held a certain title, or made a certain amount of money, or looked a certain way. And then I started to become friends with them, have dinners with them, even be hired to coach, train, and speak to them.
I saw behind the curtain.
That’s when I stopped categorizing people by what they have, and started only valuing who they choose to be and how they choose to treat others.
Every single person I interact with no matter what the context, I speak to exactly the same.
You’re a CEO of a gigantic company? Cool, let’s be friends. You’re the janitor at an elementary school? Amazing, thanks for giving kids a safe environment. You’re a famous supermodel? Congratulations, tell me about the societal pressures you feel to always look perfect.
I now operate without a filter, without a hierarchical system in mind, without any inhibitions.
I’ve been involved with such a wide variety of people in different parts of the world that I understand we are all fighting our own battles in our own ways and nobody escapes the human condition.
You cannot buy, or charm, or smile your way out of it.
It is the one thing we ALL share in common, and remembering that will get you further than any other realization.
The best selling car of all time is the Toyota Corolla. Why? It’s not exciting, it’s not fast, it’s not particularly stylish, it’s not a status symbol…
You know that when you get into your Toyota Corolla, it’s going to start up. It’ll get good gas mileage, it’ll be there when you need it.
You can trust it.
There are many other cars on the market with similar price points to the Corolla, but it’s the best selling car of all time because it’s consistent. People have confidence that it will do what they need it to do, every single time.
But, it didn’t start out that way. When the first ever Corolla was introduced in 1966, nobody would’ve known what it was capable of. It needed to earn its place in the market. It needed to earn respect. It needed to earn trust.
Trust is something that is built over time through consistent performance and reliability. When someone needs you, be there. Every single time.
Always give value.
Most people enter into a conversation or a relationship with one thing in mind:
What can I get out of this?
When that is the underlying intention, you can feel it. You know you can. Think about the last time you saw a message from someone you hadn’t spoken to in years and immediately knew they were trying to sell you something or ask for a favor.
Humans are intuitive.
This is not to ever say you should play the game of giving in order to get. This is about genuine, real, heartfelt desire to contribute to those around you.
By always looking to give value, others will see that you’re not just looking to ride someone’s coattails, make a quick buck, or get into that party. They’ll understand that you are there to serve and find fulfillment in giving to others (if you don’t feel that way — it means you haven’t really given selflessly yet. There is no better source of fulfilment than doing so).
Nobody trusts takers, because their intentions are always uncertain.
Drop the script.
Many of our interactions with other people are professional. There is a certain level of decorum expected in a work environment, but often times we step over the line between sounding formal, and sounding robotic.
See point #1, just be human.
No matter who you’re emailing, or calling, or texting — they’re a human being just like you. Sure, use proper language and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD use proper grammar, but don’t forget that you’re not a machine typing to another machine.
You are a human communicating with another human. Sending a message or leaving a voicemail a real human being will receive and absorb.
Find language and tone that works for you. Develop your own genuine style that allows you to feel empowered and confident when speaking or typing. Practice when you’re talking with friends or family members and see how words or phrases feel.
Then, run with it. Stop worrying so much about perfection. People appreciate when you are real, and they can tell from a mile away if you’re not.
Stop trying to please everyone.
Do you know somebody who is always doing everything they can to please every single person around them no matter what?
How much do you really know about that person? Are you clear on their values? Beliefs? Moral code?
Odds are, the answer is no. This is because they’re always doing everything that everyone else wants in order to gain approval, or even trust.
Ironically, this is the exact way they lose trust, because nobody knows what they’re going to do next. They’ll swing one way or another on a whim based off of what the next person needs or wants.
By beginning to stand up for our own values we show people who we really are and what we will not compromise those values in order to gain approval from others.
If you put these points into practice on a daily basis until they become interwoven with your identity, you will gain a greater understanding of yourself and others.
People will begin opening up to you and showing you their human side. Their confidence in you will build, as it has built within yourself.
No relationship, connection, opportunity, or level of fulfillment will be out of reach in your life, because you show up in the world as the most authentic and unfiltered version of yourself.
Why do some people refer to a product by a popular brand name, rather than the product itself?
Because we always trust the original.