The Definitive Guide To What Women (Really) Want In Relationships

Not as complicated as you may think.

James Michael Sama
13 min readDec 6, 2023


Men: “Women are so complicated.”

Women: “Actually, we just wa — “

Men: “How will we ever know what they want?”

Women: “It’s simple if you’d just lis — “

Men: “I guess we’ll never know.”

It’s the age old question — what do women want?! A conundrum that has been on the minds of men and women alike since…well, the dawn of time.

Often just accepted as one of the world’s greatest mysteries, I actually think the answers lie within the boundaries of common sense and communication.

I’ve been speaking to and coaching women (and men) for over a decade, and of course every single person is unique and has their own wants, needs, and desires — I do believe there are some consistencies that we can count on as being universally accurate.

Let’s explore some of them, shall we?

Disclaimer: You should always strive for open and honest communication with the person you love so you can understand their most intimate thoughts and feelings.

1: She wants you to be inspired by her strength, not intimidated by it.

I believe that most men say they want to date a strong woman until…it’s actually time to step up to the plate.

There are many false assumptions made by what it means when a woman is “strong.” A lot of men think it means that she doesn’t have any use for a man in her life, or that she wants to overpower him, or that she has lost her desire to be romanced, or cared for, or woo’d.

I believe that just the opposite is true.

Women who spend their days in positions of authority or where they consistently need to express strength, make hard decisions, or care for other people — are exactly the ones who value someone else stepping up to the plate at times.

And by “at times” I mean in an intimate relationship.



James Michael Sama

I help you evolve into the ultimate version of yourself. Life & Executive Coach. Multi #1 writer. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hi! @JamesMSama