The Gentleman’s Handbook For Dating With Class

These simple pieces of etiquette will elevate you above the “hookup culture” we’ve all grown tired of.

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@JamesMSama and @KelNixx

Stay humble.

Yes, evolution and biology tell us that the biggest, baddest dog in the yard gets the girl. Hence, the brightest colored male birds finding the mate. The strongest gorilla passing his genes to the next generation. The strongest lion leading the pride.

Quit swearing.

Alright, I can swear like a drunken sailor with the best of them, but there is a time and place for everything. In the presence of a lady in a dating scenario, try to clean it up a little bit. It’s one thing when you’ve become comfortable enough with each other to take off the filter, but for Pete’s sake, man, censor yourself at first.

Do not start eating.

Unless her food has come out, too. Remember — ladies first.

Do not talk badly about others.

There is nothing attractive about someone who has to make others look bad in order to make himself look better. If you are complaining about the people in your life, your date will begin to wonder what type of negative things you may say about her when she’s not around. Also, it shows poor judgement if you surround yourself with idiots.

Be punctual.

If you are picking her up at 7:00, be there at 7:00. It’s not just a matter of being on time, it’s a matter of showing her early on that you stand by what you say, are reliable, and trustworthy.

Stand up and greet her if you are meeting her somewhere.

I personally would much rather pick a woman up for a date and have never had someone suggest that we meet somewhere because she was uncomfortable with me knowing her address, but I understand in the age of online dating sometimes this trust is a little harder to come by.

Maintain eye contact.

Don’t break a sweat doing your best not to blink and to stare into her eyes all night long…that would just be weird. But spending the evening staring at your shoes or the tablecloth is a great way to show your date that you haven’t quite mustered up the self confidence to have an adult conversation with her.

Be kind to everyone.

I have always said that a person who is not nice to the waiter, waitress, or bartender — is not really a nice person. They can get everything right with how they treat you, but if they are rude to people they’re not trying to impress, this is a big red flag.

Keep your cell phone away at all times.

Unless you are an on-call doctor or Barack Obama, your emails can wait.

Pay for dinner.

All of it. All of the bill. The whole thing. It’s not about the money, it’s about the gesture.

Open all of the doors for her.

All of them.

Understand who leads and who follows.

When being seated at a restaurant, allow her to go first and follow behind the host or hostess. When walking through a more crowded place, though, you lead and help clear the path for her. For an added bit of charm, casually extend your hand behind you for her to hold onto. If she takes it while following you, take this as a good sign.

When ordering, she goes first.

The ultra old-fashioned still sometimes prefer to find out what their date would like and then order it for her, but to be safe — your best bet is to simply have her order first when the waiter or waitress arrives.

When walking together, you walk closest to the street.

The purpose of this lost art is to show your willingness to be splashed instead of a woman should a passing car run through a puddle. Furthermore, in some countries people would throw trash out of windows, and the person walking closer to the building, was less likely to be hit.

Put your napkin in your lap.

It’s basic etiquette, you savage.

Do not have an ‘end goal’ for the date.

If your intentions for the evening are to take this woman home at the end of the night or something of the sort, she will be able to see right through you the entire time. This is a great way to ensure never getting a second date with her.

Always gauge her comfort level and act accordingly.

Perhaps one of the more difficult but valuable things for men to do, is to learn to read women. Picking up on non-verbal cues, body language, and subtle facial expressions can change the entire course of your evening. It will tell you if you should or shouldn’t go for the kiss, should or shouldn’t suggest you go somewhere else after dinner, should or shouldn’t invite her back to your place for a drink.

Written by

International speaker, writer, & adviser helping you build happier relationships. Seen: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. JamesMSama.com: 38 million+ views.

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