“The One” Doesn’t Exist. Here’s Why That’s A Good Thing.

You don’t “fall” in love, you build it.

As a lifelong romantic, it always surprises people to hear that I don’t believe in the concept of “the one.”

It goes further than that, though — I actually think that this concept can hold people back from actually finding love in their life.

How, you might ask?

Let’s zoom out for a moment and consider what “the one” suggests.

The current world population at the time of writing this is 8,003,728,693. (Source: https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/)

The belief that only one of those people is somehow destined to be the love of your life is, may I suggest, more overwhelming than it is hopeful.

Are they supposed to have just randomly been born in the same area of the world as you? Does the universe conspire to place you in the same hometown, or city, or state?

Does one of you move to a different country for an academic program or new job, and run into the other on your way to get coffee?

Were all of your previous relationships destined to end in heartache just to bring you to “the one” who’s been waiting for you to show up?