The Right Relationship Is The Beginning Of Adventure, Not The End
Let’s get rid of the term “settling down.” Love should spark excitement, not extinguish it.
“When are you going to settle down?”
A familiar question heard at any family gathering for anyone over the age of 25. When we hear this term, we start thinking about the image society has fed us about what it really means. A boring life, inability to travel, real adult responsibilities, a depressing 9–5 where you spend your days around people who are equally as unhappy.
If that was my perspective on settling down, my answer would be: “Never.”
Why would it be anything else?
Therein lies the problem, though. Misrepresentation.
I have spoken to literally thousands of people over the years and many have remarked about how they don’t want to be held back in life, so they stay single.
The immediate conclusion here is that a relationship means certain stagnation in the eyes of many.
This is true — in a relationship with the wrong person.
The wrong person will prevent you from pursuing your dreams, goals, or true passions.
The wrong person will hold you back and discourage you.
The wrong person will make you feel like you’ve given up on what’s really important to you in order to settle for some manufactured reason that you don’t actually jive with.
This is not the way love should be. This is not the influence that a healthy, thriving relationship should have on your life.
When you find the right person who connects with you on an even deeper level, you begin to find more meaning in smaller things and your priorities and perspectives change.
I have been writing about this for years, because it’s true.
The person you’re meant to be with changes the way you show up in the world. “Me” becomes “We.” Making plans involves checking two (or more) schedules instead of just your own. You begin living outside of yourself and prioritizing someone else’s happiness on the same level as your own.
This creates even more connecting, meaning, and fulfillment in one’s life.
Now — does everyone want a relationship? Of course not. Many are perfectly happy, content, and fulfilled being single.
My point here is that the right relationship will never diminish these feelings within you.
The right relationship should enhance your life, not complicate it.
The right relationship shows you new things that are important which never dawned on you before because the only lens you saw the world through was your own. We expand our minds and our hearts as we allow someone else to show us the world through their own eyes as well.
Places we go and experiences we have become even more enjoyable as we watch someone else’s face light up as we explore. Happiness doubles.
Pain, also, is halved.
The truth about life is that it’s not always sunshine and rainbows. We face heartbreak, loss, failures, and roadblocks.
Loving someone is not about fixing someone’s problems for them, but it is about making sure they never face them alone. Knowing you have someone who’s committed to stand by your side during difficult times brings a peace of mind that even the strongest and most seasoned problem-facer will welcome.
The wrong relationship will make you feel abandoned and alone during times of need.
The contrasts are stark and obvious when you really begin to lay them out side by side.
Adventure and excitement dies in the arms of the wrong relationship as your energy is drained from you by arguments and drama.
When you find the person who breathes new life into your soul and shows you all of the pieces of yourself that were lying dormant waiting for them to come along, though, even more of the world comes to life and calls you to it.
This is where a new adventure begins: One you take together.