The Sexiest People Have These 20 Qualities

What if *gasp* it’s NOT about appearance?

James Michael Sama
17 min readNov 16, 2023


What do you think of when you hear the word: “Sexy”? For most, particularly the men (ahem, sorry guys…) it’s directly tied to an outward appearance. A certain visual image we hold in our mind for what we consider to be physically attractive in another person.

While a physical appearance that directly aligns with our personal preferences is sexy, we all know that one’s looks are never enough to hold a relationship together.

In fact, it doesn’t even guarantee they’d be a good partner, or are even interested in (or capable of) a monogamous relationship.

I believe that once we truly internalize this reality, usually by learning it the hard way through experience, the primary question becomes:

“Okay, they’re physically attractive, but what else do they bring to the table?”

It follows, then, that this realization carries a subtext:

Looks are sexy, but other qualities are far more of an emotional turn on, and that’s what’s really important in the long run.

Let’s discuss some of these overlooked, but undoubtedly important traits that have nothing to do with what someone sees with their eyes.



James Michael Sama

I help you evolve into the ultimate version of yourself. Life & Executive Coach. Multi #1 writer. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hi! @JamesMSama