The Truth About Why Nice Guys Finish Last

(Because they actually do).

We’ve all heard it before: Nice guys finish last! And if we’re really being honest…they do. I know this, because I used to be one of them. I was stuck in the mindset that if I just did enough things for enough people, if I just molded myself into what they really wanted, I would be accepted, attractive, and popular.

Boy, was I wrong.

I’m glad I spent so much time being wrong, though, because it taught me valuable lessons about where I needed to improve, and how to actually succeed in life. Succeed in relationships, succeed in my social life, succeed in business.

Here’s something you might not expect me to say about nice guys, but it’s part of why they’re always losing: They’re selfish.

“James, if they’re selfish, why are they always doing things for other people?”

It’s not about what they’re doing, but why they’re doing it.

The things they do for others are intended to gain affection, praise, attraction, or popularity. They’re designed to get people to like them. Some might call it manipulative.

They mold themselves to what (they think) others want, yet it never works out in their favor. Hence, always finishing last.