These Powerful Habits Make You Highly Attractive

(Hint: They’re not about appearance).

James Michael Sama
16 min readNov 12, 2023


What is it that makes someone genuinely attractive? I’m not talking about the things that catch our eye from across the room — but the subtle nuances and habits that truly draw our attention? The actions, mannerisms, behaviors, and even the mindsets that make them seem so…magnetic?

You know people like this, you’ve met them, and maybe you even are one of them. Some people naturally possess the traits that empower them to act in these ways, and others consciously work at developing them.

Regardless of the source, in this article we’re going to explore some of the subtleties that, while small on paper, make a big impression in real life.

1: They sloooow down.

Attractive people possess and project confidence, we all know this — but what does confidence look like?

This is a lesson I learned through experience over the years of appearing on stage and television. I’d watch myself afterwards and notice if I was talking too fast, or moving my hands too much (sorry, I’m Italian), and would be critical about whether or not I looked too frantic or rushed.

After all, a TV spot may only net you a couple of minutes of airtime. You’ve got to get your point across without wasting too much time.

BUT, if you look too hurried, or nervous, or chaotic…people are going to tune out.

You’re sending the subconscious message that you don’t think what you’re saying has enough value to keep people’s attention, so you try to cram as much of it in as possible while they’re still listening.

I noticed that my body language and verbal presentation made a much larger impact when I’d just take a deep breath, relax into the chair, sit back and act like I was having a conversation with a friend.

It puts everyone in your audience at ease, and actually draws them to you because they’re wondering what you’re about to say next.

I believe that just taking a couple of seconds to consciously assess our own body language and non-verbal communication when in a social setting can make a massive difference in how much confidence we…



James Michael Sama

I help you evolve into the ultimate version of yourself. Life & Executive Coach. Multi #1 writer. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hi! @JamesMSama