To Earn Her Respect, Do These 10 Things

Respect is earned, not given.

James Michael Sama
8 min readSep 11


Respect is one of those interesting terms that puts some people on the defensive because they think it signals bowing to authority, or an imbalance of power in a relationship.

This in itself is a problem with today’s relationships.

We need to respect each other as equals, as partners, as humans if we want any shot at a thriving and healthy relationship.

Mutual respect is the foundation of other integral parts of a partnership, such as trust, independence, and love.

How can you value someone’s opinions, thoughts, or even their very existence if you don’t respect them? You just…can’t, and you won’t.

So, an uncomfortable newsflash for the men — women will not date you if they don’t respect you.

Let’s discuss a few traits that can often fly under the radar, but cultivate a sense of respect in your direction.

===> Important disclaimer: It matters not how many of these traits, or how many more above them, that a man has. If he does not respect you in return, you need to cut ties and go find someone who does.

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1: Exemplify a *healthy* sense of masculinity.

There is a misconception in today’s society that women think all masculinity is toxic or that they no longer want a man to “be the man” in a relationship.

I have been coaching highly successful, educated, self-sufficient, powerful women (and men) for more than a decade, and I can tell you with certainty that they all want a man who will stand strong in a healthy sense of masculinity in order to balance out her feminine strength.

Balance is the key word here — not overpowering, not succumbing, but balancing.

Healthy masculinity is secure, caring, nurturing, protective, and calm. It is not chaotic, or violent, or abusive.



James Michael Sama

Helping high achievers build deeper fulfillment & love. Multi #1 writer. Coach & Speaker. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hello! @JamesMSama