You Deserve Someone Who…

Does these 20 things.

James Michael Sama
15 min readFeb 29, 2024


It’s hard to define what you deserve in life and in love. It requires a strong sense of self-worth, high standards, and solid boundaries.

Those might be difficult for you to get clear on if you’ve not really dug into your wants, needs, desires, and identity.

What is it that you really deserve from a lifelong partner? A question, if left unanswered, can easily cause you to settle for less (sometimes…far less).

If, though, defined and recognized — will give you the strength to stop giving your time, energy, and heart to people who don’t truly deserve you.

Below, we’ll outline traits and actions to look for from a person who is ready to receive you, and is willing to do the work to earn their spot in your life.

1: You deserve someone who’s already figured out what they want.

How many people have you dated that just seem to be…floating along? They don’t really have any concrete goals, or a solid path in life, or even a clear vision of their ideal relationship or partner.

While this does help people explore for awhile as they learn what’s out there, who they are, and what they’re looking for…that’s not the phase of life you’re in right now.

It’s possible to meet the right person at the wrong time, though when this happens it effectively makes them the wrong person.

The right person is going to already have gone through those phases, done that work, and come to their conclusions about what they want their life to look like moving forward — just like you have.

That way, when you come into their life, they’re going to recognize you. They’ll value you. They’ll put in the work to build a real connection and a real relationship with you.

They’ll be ready to give you an equal investment and commitment.

If they don’t know what they’re looking for, how are they going to recognize you when you arrive?

  • Bonus: You are not someone’s set of “training wheels” while they figure this all out. You’ve been there and done that, so it’s only fair to be with someone who’s done the same.



James Michael Sama

I help you evolve into the ultimate version of yourself. Life & Executive Coach. Multi #1 writer. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hi! @JamesMSama