You Need Healthier Emotional Boundaries If You Experience These 8 Signs

Boundaries are a sign of self-worth.

James Michael Sama
5 min readSep 14


Our emotional boundaries are the very things that determine what (and who) we allow into our lives, where our energy is focused, and what types of treatment we are willing to accept from others.

Often, a lack of self-worth can cause us to lower our standards and loosen our boundaries. As a result, we experience some of the signs below:

1: Your schedule is full of things you don’t want to do.

When was the last time you said “no thanks” to an offer to make plans? Are you comfortable declining an invitation, or do you feel like the moment you start saying “no,” people will stop liking you, stop inviting you, and stop interacting with you?

People with low emotional boundaries tend to also be people pleasers, and have a very hard time saying no, because they think always “yessing” everyone is the only way to earn their affection.

In the long run, saying “yes” to everything can easily stretch you too thin, put you in places you don’t want to be, and even build resentment towards the people who invited you, because now you feel forced by them.

If they distance themselves from you because you said no — let them, you don’t need fragile relationships like that.

2: You give people WAY too many chances.

I’ve heard people say: “Hey, everyone deserves a 2nd chance!”

I’ve not heard people say: “Hey, everyone deserves a 100th chance!”

Eventually, you need to draw the line on bad behavior and stop accepting it from the people around you. If you find that certain people (say, someone you’re dating…) continues to disrespect you, your boundaries, your wants, or just flat out brings less to the table than you deserve…you are not obligated to stick around for it any longer than you already have.

3: You give to others, but then feel resentment for it.

Sure, you might think you’re being selfless by giving your time, energy, and effort to someone/a relationship/a…



James Michael Sama

Helping high achievers build deeper fulfillment & love. Multi #1 writer. Coach & Speaker. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hello! @JamesMSama