You’ll Find These 15 Qualities In The Best Life Partners

(First, you have to stop giving time to the wrong ones).

James Michael Sama
8 min readSep 16


If you feel like you’ve fallen victim to negative dating patterns in the past, rest assured that you’re not alone.

I have worked with and spoken to hundreds of people who feel like they’re spinning in circles when it comes to dating.

Where are the good men/women? Is anyone even interested in commitment anymore? How can we filter out the wrong people so we improve our chances of meeting the right ones?

Here’s one common thread I find: Focusing on the wrong qualities.

We live in a highly image-focused society. Our social media feeds look like magazine spreads. Our Instagram Reels look like blockbuster movies. Our selfies are carefully angled and lit to achieve an ideal look.

This, among many other societal factors, has caused a shift in what we look for in our partners. Subsequently, we see the degradation of the “LTR” (Long term relationship) and it seems to become more difficult by the day to find someone who we can actually take seriously.

What if — then — we begun shifting what we were focusing on?

I never advocate for lowering your standards and I’d certainly never advise a reader nor a client to settle for the wrong person just for the sake of being in a relationship.

The wrong relationship will make you feel lonelier than staying single ever will.

That being said, if we continue focusing on shorter-term qualities and traits, we could easily overlook the things that will actually help us build and maintain a healthy relationship over time.

We must really begin taking the time to be honest with ourselves when getting to know someone new.

How do they treat their friends and family? What are their past relationship patterns like? Do they keep people in their lives for a long time, or not? Do they respect servers, bartenders, baristas, and those they’re not trying to impress on a date? Do they display compassion and empathy? Do they share your inner-most values and vision for the future?



James Michael Sama

Helping high achievers build deeper fulfillment & love. Multi #1 writer. Coach & Speaker. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hello! @JamesMSama