You’re Never Going to Get What You Want

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I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I’m here to tell you that you’re not going to get what you want.

I think about the things that I want all the time. A Ferrari, for instance. I’ve always wanted a Ferrari. I raced one on a professional racetrack a couple of years ago. Man, that was awesome. I really wanted a Ferrari after that.

I do love my car, but, it’s not a Ferrari. Yet, I really want one.

I’d also really like a Tom Ford suit. Honestly, I want Tom Ford anything. I think I’m going to get some Tom Ford cologne soon, because I want some of that. I’ll go get some. Maybe.

What is it that you want? Something you’ve wanted for a long time, but have never actually gotten? Think about it. A watch? A handbag? A pair of shoes? A house?

If you want it so badly, why don’t you have it? I’ll tell you why — because you don’t get what you want.

When you want something, you look at it and say “man, that’d be nice to have. I want that.” And then, you continue along your way.

Wanting something is not enough. It is not enough to drive you, to move you, to inspire you. It is not enough to fulfill you, and I think you really know that — deep down.

Would a Ferrari feed my soul? Maybe for a little while, but it really wouldn’t fulfill or satisfy me in life. I can’t hug or kiss my Ferrari. Well, I could, but it can’t hug and kiss me back.

I can’t sit down at the end of a long day and listen to what my Rolex accomplished that day. You can’t feel the warm embrace of your Louboutins when you climb into bed at night.

You can’t stand and stare in awe at that Birkin…not in the same way you stare in awe at the Grand Canyon.

You see, things and wants don’t truly move us into action, because they alone are not enough to truly bring us joy. We might feel pushed towards them, either through pressure from ourselves or society, but we don’t feel fully pulled towards them.

What pulls you? A purpose. A meaning. Contribution. Adding value to someone’s life. Making the world a better place. Being a positive influence on the community around you — on whatever scale you may choose.

These are the types of things that draw our hearts towards them, and therefore they are the types of things we have the best chances of pursuing. These are the types of things that will make us overcome challenges and break through walls in order to get to them. A material item or something you simply just ‘want,’ is not enough to inconvenience yourself or make serious sacrifices in life for.

Your purpose, though, that will make you sacrifice things. Do you know why? Because it won’t feel like a sacrifice. If you feel like you’re giving something up, but moving towards something better, then did you really actually give something up?

No, you simply passed over the good in order to pursue the great.

You get what you’re passionate about. You get your desires. Your inner-most cravings. The things you thirst for. Those are the things you’ll be willing to really work for.

Then, maybe, after you’ve pursued and accomplished the “it,” you’ll be able to go out and get the fun things you wanted in the first place as a result of your hard work. But if you still can’t, you won’t really care because that wasn’t the point anyway.

What the “it” is, will be different for all of us. It may be a person we love. It may be a charitable cause. It may be volunteering in a third world country. Well, shit, for some of you it might even be a Ferrari. But one thing always remains true -

You don’t get what you simply want, because it is not enough.

It is not enough because it, itself, does not make you enough. The only thing that can make you enough, is you. And you are the only person who can discover what that means.

When you pursue your passions, goals, ambitions, dreams, contributions — then, and only then, will you feel like the person you were always truly meant to become…



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International speaker, writer, & adviser helping you build happier relationships. Seen: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. 38 million+ views.

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