You’re With The Wrong Person If You Have These 5 Feelings

How to know when “the one”…isn’t.

James Michael Sama
7 min readFeb 6, 2022


One of the most difficult things anyone will ever have to admit is that they’ve chosen the wrong romantic partner.

It means facing the realization that they need to start over at square one — but first, they need to muster the courage to end the relationship.

Depending how far down the line you are, this could mean someone moving out, separating from a beloved pet…or maybe you’re married. Maybe you’re married with kids…

Maybe you’re married with kids and own a house.

The point is this: Even when relationships are simple — just two single people otherwise unattached — it can be difficult to walk away. Let alone when a life has been built around the relationship.

So many people miss (or ignore) red flags early on that they get so far down the wrong road, they’ve got no idea how to turn around. So, sometimes, they don’t. They just settle into a mediocre life with a mediocre love and pretend to enjoy mediocre days.

That, though, is not the life that you envisioned for yourself, nor the one that you should choose to live. Your life and your love should be filled with passion, adventure, excitement, peace, harmony, and connection.

But, what if it’s not?

Below we’ll discuss five feelings you’ll have if you’re with the wrong person, so you’ll have a fair chance at doing something about it.

1: You feel “meh” about your future together.

Let’s be real about this: Forever is a long time.

If you’re in a mature adult monogamous relationship, odds are that you’re not just looking for a fling, but someone you can genuinely picture spending the rest of your life with.

That, for many, sounds daunting.

You have many decades left, after all. Many phases of life. Many wins, losses, challenges, illnesses, expenses, duties, chores — accomplishments, goals, victories, celebrations…maybe marriage, kids…

All of which are going to be shared with one person that you choose — if you choose monogamy.



James Michael Sama

Helping high achievers build deeper fulfillment & love. Multi #1 writer. Coach & Speaker. Trusted by: CNN, CNBC, NY Post, CBS, more. Say hello! @JamesMSama